We’ve got six year olds!

Myles, Jack, and Colton are six! This year has gone so fast! It seems like life is so much busier now with them in school. I am so proud of the boys for all of their “firsts” this year.  They are loving school and all the fun that goes with it! It wasn’t long ago I was registering them for kindergarten and today they ran off to school so proud that they could bring a birthday treat for their classmates. As I watched them run into the school doors, I stood there trying desperately not to yell out all sorts of embarrassing things about how much I love them all while hoping they wouldn’t have a problem sharing in the “passing out of treats duties.” I’ve never seen little boys so excited over Pirates Booty Puffs in all my life… Their kindergarten teacher worked hard to give each of them a “special day” with their helper duties to her. They each completed their own day by walking out of school with their birthday crown on their head and a smile so big and wide that you couldn’t help but feel their joy. They apparently had agreed with her before all their festivities that they would take their days in “reverse birth order.” I only wish I could have seen that conversation go down! It took three days of patiently waiting (mostly on Myles’ part) and then I was able to line them up together to get a picture of their kindergarten birthday crowns. 

They’ve been talking about having a “builder birthday” for the past year so they happily settled on a Lego theme to celebrate their six years. Though they started out wanting another burger cake like last year, they all agreed that a cake that looked like a Lego head would be pretty fun, too. They celebrated with family and spent several days happily putting together Legos. Kylie enjoyed herself quite a bit and liked being able to help them put together all their sets. Nothing gets her talking about HER birthday more than celebrating THEIR birthday so she’s already convinced she’s going to go with a Barbie theme. I’m sure the boys will love it! Ha!

I’m continually amazed at how quickly these kids are growing up. Myles has always been our happy-no-matter what guy who loves to play. His teacher says he is the most quiet and reserved in class though which makes me laugh. Oh, if only she could catch a glimpse of him at home where he lets his true personality shine. He will often respond to any request with a cheerful, “I sure can!” as he races off. He loves being put to work and he is so easy to please! He still loves to share his last minute snuggling with me on the couch before bed and I love it too. 

Jack has spent his kindergarten days loving the creative corner- he has such a creative little mind! He will come home daily with pictures of houses he drew. He is so sweet and is always writing notes or working on some sort of masterpiece. Every picture has a house and every time it touches my heart. He still loves the idea of building a house someday and he loves creative building in general. He gravitates towards magna-tiles and Legos and he’s been having a blast continually constructing houses out of some giant magna-tiles we got for Christmas.

Colton, like Kylie, was born for school. That has only become more obvious over the past year. He is always thinking and he loves to be part of a project. With our recent bout of snowy weather, we’ve had a lot of “puzzle-paloozas.” The kids think anything is fun if I throw “palooza” at the end of it… Colton became my best little helper on a 500 piece puzzle and he was so proud at how many pieces he could find on his own. Also, I love looking at the papers the boys bring home from school. Colton has so much attention to detail and I can tell he aims to please. I had to laugh at the beginning of the year when the boys brought home their “New Years Resolutions.” Colton’s was so sweet but I felt like I needed to reassure his teacher that I’m just fine. I don’t typically spend a lot of time laying around on the couch crying… I hope…Me being sick over the New Year must have really pulled on his heart strings.

The boys are growing up so fast and truthfully it’s kind of amazing to watch. We are working on becoming independent with more day to day things as we’ve progressed through the school year. Apparently, some of it is going well and some is not… The boys still struggle with their ability to get dressed without flinging their underwear all over the room. I will never understand the mind of a little boy enough to figure out why this is so difficult. I still have a mini panic attack daily as we try to CALMLY walk through the parking lot to and from school. There’s simply too much to be said and too many puddles to jump in along the way. And their mittens…. For the love of God… I have bought so many mittens. Every day a different one loses their mittens. Not even both mittens, sometimes it’s just the one. Apparently, they are more prone to losing their right mitten because I’ve got a stash of left mittens just waiting in the wings if they should ever lose that one. I’m anxiously waiting for the snow to melt so I can stop taking daily inventory of their snow gear bags. With all that being said, the boys have been doing a lot of growing, too. They are all hard workers and they have learned so much this year. It has been so fun to volunteer in their classroom and see them in their element every once in awhile. They are kind and, most importantly, they are happy. We talk a lot about what it means to be a gentleman. Somewhere in the past six years of watching Curious George, they learned that gentlemen bow. And so, it started making sense to them that, when I ask them to go to bed like gentlemen, they stand at the top of the staircase and bow as I leave. Someday they’ll figure out that’s not necessary, but I won’t be the one to tell them. It makes me smile too much.

Kylie is quite possibly growing up TOO fast. I can almost see little glimpses of the teenager inside her and I’m not ready for it. I’m sure John isn’t either. She loves gymnastics and dance and all sorts of creative outlets. She’s finished writing another book about fairies, we’ve got a chemistry ooze lab kit sitting on the counter (8 experiments down, 12 to go), and she’s been baking up a storm with her mini-verse kitchen set. She still loves playing school and is pretty convinced she’ll be a teacher someday. I’d say she gets a lot of credit for getting the boys up to speed to allow them to sail through kindergarten this year.

Apparently, she has quite the reputation at school and the custodian likes to tack on “even if you have three little brothers” to whatever he’s saying when he sees her in the hallway. I think she secretly likes it. She’s never once stopped taking her role as the “big sister” seriously, no matter how hard I’ve tried to convince her. These past six years have been quite the wild ride and she’s been there through it all.

So there we are- another birthday down- here’s to hoping for another fabulous year for this crew! Happy birthday to Myles, Jack and Colton! 

Thankful to be Together

Ever since Halloween, it feels like our family has been stuck in some sort of revolving door at the pediatrician’s office. Honestly, it IS that time of year, so it isn’t unexpected. Still, John and I have wondered if maybe our children gathered in a room one day and decided to have a secret competition over who could rack up the most copays at the doctor’s office. These visits have all been only for minor little issues like ear infections or coughs but the number of them have made the past several weeks feel a little bit like chaos. Buried in all that chaos though have been a lot of little moments that have reminded me to be thankful. I suppose this is a great time of year to reflect on that.

Kylie started off the month by missing an entire week of school over some nasty cough she couldn’t kick. She was a trooper through the whole thing and easily entertained herself while quarantined in her room by reading books, knitting, or studying up with Alexa on when the past presidents were born. Don’t ask me how that became a priority for her… Even so, she was beyond excited to return to school. Not many days passed before Myles spoke up about his ear hurting. I suppose I should have seen that coming… The night before, he threw an absolute fit at the dinner table which is fairly uncommon for him. He didn’t want to eat his sandwich despite the promise of chips afterward and so he sat there pouting, refusing to take a bite. I’ll never forget Jack, his head down, taking sideways glances as he sat silently next to him. Jack must have been sharing in Myles’ despair because later I saw him quietly slide one of his chips across the table to Myles. I guess he couldn’t stand the idea of Myles having to go to bed without chips and my heart melted a bit over Jack’s “no brother left behind” attitude. Myles and I came up with a good compromise after that, but it all made sense the next morning when I found out he had a double ear infection. It was his second one in the past month, so he was prescribed a stronger antibiotic. We left the doctor’s office and headed on to our familiar loop to the pharmacy. After having a nice chat with our friendly neighborhood pharmacist, we went home to get our first dose of the day in. Myles drank his medicine, made a nasty face, and then proceeded to lament over how he “couldn’t believe that nice man gave him that not nice medicine.” Bubble gum flavored Amoxicillin it was not… Myles was happy to spend the day with me at home and it wasn’t long before we had to pick up the boys and Kylie from school. That night, as we were getting ready for bed, Jack was sitting on the couch quietly. Obviously, there was something heavy on his mind. Finally, he looked over at Myles and, in his heartfelt, genuine way, said, “I sure am sad you didn’t get a hot dog for lunch at school today, Myles, cause they were REALLY good…” Oh Jack, my sweet boy. I’ve never cried over a hot dog before, but I almost did right then.  

It wasn’t long before Jack ended up with a double ear infection himself and spent his own day at home with me while everyone else went to school. A few days later, much to my dismay, it was Colton’s turn. When Myles and Jack came home after school that day, I had another one of those heartwarming moments while cleaning out their backpacks. I came across some artwork Jack had drawn at school that day. Most days Jack comes home with drawings or books he created and somewhere on it I will be able to find the words “I luv u mom.” I’ve always thought it was very touching Jack thinks of me while he’s at school. But that day in particular, while Colton was home sick, Jack must have been thinking of him and how much he missed him.

Over the past month, the boys have shown me that they are perfectly capable of going their separate ways…but that doesn’t necessarily mean they LIKE it. As their mom, it brings my heart comfort to know that they can do their individual thing, but they truly enjoy being together. Kylie is included in that, too. She walks the boys to their classroom every morning and the boys know she is always close by to take care of them if they need. The boys know it is their job to take care of her in the same way. I’ve had to have a specific talk with Kylie about not being overly dramatic with her use of the word “mean” to describe any boys in her class. Myles won’t think twice about trying to track any of them down to chat. We figured that out the hard way this past summer at vacation bible school with a poor, unsuspecting (and might I add innocent) boy named Max…

Recently, I gave the kids some toy magazines to look through and sticker items they think look fun. I always love looking back through them and seeing these little glimpses into their minds even though many of their wishes are not realistic. One night, Kylie grabbed a magazine, curled up on the couch, and started looking through it. It wasn’t long before all the boys cuddled up next to her. She indulged them by reading each toy description and taking a poll by show of hands to see which boy wanted what toy. They sat like that for a long time and I, of course, had to capture it with a picture. 

I am thankful for many things but at the top of the list- these four children who, despite their arguments, love each other so much.  They each spend plenty of time fighting and bickering with one another as most siblings do, but I’m thankful that they all take time to look out for each other and care for each other. I’m thankful for the love and special bond they all share. I’m thankful for the simple joy in their hearts. Don’t let my words confuse you into thinking I’m some sort of well-adjusted mom or anything. Far from it… Our pediatrician and friendly neighborhood pharmacist can attest to that. Life DOES feel like chaos a lot of the time. I’m just thankful for those moments that remind me it is of the best kind. I’ve always felt the best place to be is together. That moment on the couch, when all four of those little heads were huddled over that Christmas magazine, reminded me that John and I have children that feel that too.

Colton’s Coconuts

Today was one of those days I became disgusted with myself over the amount of useless junk I have been carrying around in my purse. This seems to happen every now and then. I was digging around for some chapstick and, of course, couldn’t find it among all the old receipts, expired coupons, and dum dum lollipops I use to bribe my children in an emergency situation. In my frustration, I dumped all the contents of my purse on the counter and got to work sorting. I threw away plenty of items and felt satisfied as I started placing only the essentials back in the bag. And then I found it… a tiny little acorn. It was one of Colton’s “coconuts.” I’m sure at some point this summer he found it and had given it to me for safe keeping. His “coconuts” are some of his greatest treasures after all. 

I can’t even tell you when Colton’s obsession with coconuts started. I think at some point he decided it was a fun word to say but in Colton’s world a “coconut” is really an acorn. Colton is a little scavenger and has always loved finding and collecting things outside. All of the kids like doing this, but Colton is the most passionate about it. On multiple occasions we’ve brought home pinecones, feathers, acorns, or other random treasures. Usually, these treasures end up in buckets or cups in our garage and then stealthily disappear. But not Colton’s coconuts… I have never been able to bring myself to get rid of those. They are stashed all over the place in random spots because they always remind me of him and bring a smile to my face.

There is one on the floor of the minivan near the driver’s seat. It’s been there for months. I’m sure it had fallen there after returning from one of our trips to the park. I left it there because every time I get in the van, I see it and smile. John has received specific instructions each time he has taken the van to vacuum it out that he must leave Colton’s coconut in its special place. There are cups filled with them all over our garage. I even have stopped to take pictures of them to remind me of these simple and sweet summer memories.

One of the nights this past summer as I was putting the boys to bed, Colton started telling me again about his coconuts. He said he had found a bunch but couldn’t remember where he put them. We decided the next day we would look for some. I promised him a sticky note at his breakfast table spot with “find coconuts” on it as our first priority of the day. The next day, I tossed a handful of his acorns under a tree in our backyard. The boys all squealed with delight as they searched for coconuts with Colton. Colton of course carried the bucket, and the other two boys were quite happy to deliver any coconut they found to him. I couldn’t help but laugh over how much fun they had that morning and they wanted to do it again the next day. And the next. We did it a lot that summer and Colton loved seeing his little stash of coconuts grow. 

Honestly, if you ask Colton on any given morning what he dreamt about he will even respond with “coconuts!” I’m sure he does it mostly as a joke but there is a tiny part of me that could believe he is scampering about in his dreams at night searching for them. 

And so today, while I was begrudgingly cleaning out my purse, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit lucky I came across another one of Colton’s treasures. I know in my heart he specifically wanted to save this one because it was so little and cute, kind of like him. Colton loves scavenging for tiny treasures. And, as I placed all of my necessities back into my bag, I slipped that little acorn in there, too. Nothing makes me smile quite like coming across one of Colton’s coconuts and I will happily carry that one with me wherever I go. 

The School Days

The season is changing yet again, both literally and figuratively… Gone are the days of summer and we have now made it through almost one full month of our school days. What a change! John and I now have a second grader and three kindergarteners… There were times I never thought this moment would come, but of course the world was right- it was simply one blink away all along. All in all, it feels pretty amazing. School is going well for everyone and, now that we’ve made it through these first few weeks, the glazed look in the boys’ eyes is starting to lift. We are all getting into our routine, and everyone seems happy with it. Sure, there are times that, if the right country song comes on the radio about how fast life goes, I find myself tearing up a bit as I’m driving down the road…but then I park at the grocery store and leisurely walk in and shop in peaceful solitude and all is alright again. Of course, I still end up buying the kids random, ridiculous snacks they don’t need just because I’m thinking of them, and I can’t wait to see them smile once they get home… 

The most common thing that people ask me now is if I’m planning on going back to work. I simply tell them no. I’m kidding… I laugh and THEN I tell them no…I’m planning on going out to lunch. Now, trust me, I’ve learned in life that my plans don’t matter much so who knows what will happen. In truth, I’m not ready to go back to the stress of managing a patient caseload while wondering which child the school nurse will call me about that day. I know we most likely have a lot of sick days in our future this year so I’m going to try to keep my life simple. For now, I’m content managing my little ducklings back and forth from school. I think people are a bit shocked now, wondering what I am doing with all my “new-found time.” I will tell you that it’s nothing glamorous. I am still doing most of the same things- cleaning house, laundry, dishes, keeping up with the kids’ every need and occasional want… I now just get to do it with less interruption and less “mom guilt.” Every now and then, I do just sit down with my Keurig cup of coffee to think and that’s really nice, too. In those moments, I like to whisper to myself, “you’re worth it…” The coming and going of four backpacks can keep you busier than one would think. 

The other common question I get is about whether I separated the boys into different classrooms. Get ready for it- I did not. I’m not trying to be controversial, I just felt that it was the right thing to do for them as they started school. I’m going to preface this by saying every child has individual needs and every parent makes their own decisions based on those needs. There is no right or wrong, no one-size-fits-all. I’ve never written this blog as a “how to tutorial,” I have merely told OUR story. I did not send the boys to preschool, instead we spent the last year working on things at home. Again, I felt that was the right thing for them and it allowed them to enjoy the simplicity of their childhood for as long as possible. I knew that would make their transition into a full day of kindergarten a bit of a challenge and so I decided to let them tackle that TOGETHER. They have spent most every moment of their last 5+ years together, and I didn’t want to take away everything they knew all at the same time and risk the idea of “going to school” becoming something scary. 

And so, on the first day of school, they walked in the doors together and they were excited to be there. They had their big sister Kylie by their side, along with a trove of her little girlfriends that were only too happy to be part of the whole process of delivering the boys to their classroom. The first day was the hardest-the waiting patiently to hear how it all went. I picked them up in the pick-up line and, as all four of them piled into the van with their backpacks flying every which way, they were all talking simultaneously about their day. It was hard to keep straight, but Jack was going on about what he had for lunch that day, Kylie was most likely reporting back on some rule that someone had inadvertently broken, and Colton was in the back seat carrying on about some kid that was mean to him and almost had to go to the principal’s office. My focus was on navigating through the traffic and pedestrians safely so I couldn’t piece together much of their stories until we arrived home. Once everyone was sitting at the table enjoying their afternoon snack, I went back to Colton first. He had been carrying on and on about this “mean kid” and I was a bit concerned to get to the bottom of that story. I asked him again, “who was the kid who was being mean to you?” There could not have been a more perfect moment in life that represents the boys as individuals than the one that happened next… Colton, with an over dramatic pout on his face, straightened his arm out to point directly at Myles next to him, who was innocently eating his snack. The fact that Jack, without looking up from taking a bite, also tossed a thumb over his shoulder pointing at Myles from the other side left no question that the “mean kid” was, in fact, Myles. This was all followed by Myles adamantly denying the entire idea with an indignant, “noooooo” bursting from his mouth as only Myles can do. Little does Myles know, that always confirms his guilt even though it never fails to make me smile. Myles had kicked Colton in the hallway after some sort of confusion of cutting in line. It helped to know the threat of the principal was coming from Colton rather than the teacher herself. We got to the bottom of that little tiff, reviewed the rules of keeping our hands (and feet in this situation) to ourselves at school, and then I sent up another prayer for their kindergarten teacher. 

The days that followed were a little less dramatic. The boys came home excited each day and happy to report they were SO well behaved. And yes, they always put an emphasis on SO. Whether I believe them or not is a different story. There were a few minor calls from the school nurse- Jack for a false alarm sore throat and for Colton when he hit his head and scraped his knee falling off the monkey bars. Myles so far has avoided the nurse’s office but seems to be keeping his injuries small enough he’s just cleaning the teacher out of her supply of classroom bandaids. I’m sure I will owe her a donation soon enough. The boys love their teacher and are happy to go see her each day. In turn, they’re convinced she loves and misses them each night as well. As for Kylie, I’m so thankful she has the school routine down now and she takes pride in watching over her brothers and helping them through the process. 

It has been fun overall working into this new “season” of our school days. I enjoy the quiet of the day but still look forward to picking the kids up from school and hearing their stories. The moments we are all together at home in the afternoons and evenings still bring the most peace to my heart. I know life will only get busier from here so I’m doing all the things-trying to soak it up, not blink, and just enjoying where we are at now. If only I could get my kids to figure out how to enter and exit the minivan in a calm and orderly fashion, I’d really have it made…

I Walked Alone

Today, I walked alone. As I went, I thought about all of the other “walking” I’ve done over the years. Life is a journey after all. There was a time I had just one baby in one stroller. We would walk and talk about all the things we saw, the colors they were, the sounds they made… Sometimes I would even jog. I was motivated like that with my one baby in her stroller. There was so much joy in those simple moments.

And then, suddenly, there were four. I would walk while wearing one baby and pushing two in the stroller. Kylie would pedal her trike or walk beside. We walked, but we didn’t make it far. Still, there was joy in those moments too, amidst all the challenges.

And then, there was that lime green quad stroller. No one could forget that… All four of the kids fit safely and happily together and we could walk much farther. The stroller was a bright beacon to our neighborhood and those that surrounded us that, yes, I had my hands full… And Kylie and I would laugh and laugh at that, but we were all together and there was so much joy in looking down at those four little blonde heads during our walks.

As she grew, Kylie eventually moved from the stroller to her bike and rode ahead of us. The quad stroller was getting heavier to push, but still we walked. I smiled, listening to the boys chatter on in the stroller while watching Kylie pedal energetically on her little pink bike in front of us. I loved those walks so much and they brought me so much peace at that time in my life. Sometimes, I walked with just the stroller. When Kylie started school, we missed her bike in front of us but we kept up with our walks. Even while missing something, or rather someone, we still found joy in those moments with each other. We still had evenings, weekends, and summers to look forward to.

Eventually we outgrew the quad stroller all together and the boys joined in on their bikes. I walked behind four little bikes in a row- three with training wheels and one proud little girl showing them what the future held as she raced off in front of them. I was proud, too, and I smiled as I walked.

And then came time for the boys to ditch their training wheels… I didn’t do as much walking in those days. Then, I ran. I ran alongside them and then behind them as each one took the leap and moved on to their “big boy” bike. There was sweat, blood and tears at times but, oh, there was joy. There was so much joy watching each one conquer that milestone. We soon left all the training wheels behind us and four bikes went off in a row and I would walk and run along behind them. Those were some beautiful moments, filled with anxiety but also so much pride. 

And then, today, I walked alone. Those four little smiling faces have started school. We have opened a new chapter in our journey as the boys have officially started kindergarten. There was excitement in their eyes and joy in their hearts at starting this new challenge before them with a new world to explore. And because they walked away with joy, I did too. Life is a journey after all. Today I walked through the quiet breeze and I smiled at the warm sun on my face. I walked the same path we have always followed and, though I tried not to look back, I couldn’t help but think of these past several years.  But I am choosing to stay focused on the joy. There were so many moments filled with joy, so many moments to be proud of, and so many treasured memories I will keep close to my heart. I couldn’t help but think about life with each day as a gift to be lived only once. I am so thankful for the four beautiful children I have walked with over the years. I can only look forward to more walks in the days ahead in our evenings, weekends or summers. But today, I walked alone. While I walked, I smiled, because life is a journey after all.

Home

Years ago, Kylie decided she was going to be a “stay-at-home daughter.” I suppose it was in reference to the fact that I was a stay-at-home mom. Somehow, she figured out that it was a good idea…to just stay at home. She told us then that she didn’t plan on moving out. Ever. She even started planting these ideas in the boys’ heads about their future living arrangements. She tends to be a bit of a planner, like me, and so she told them that our house was already taken. SHE would be living here. She was gracious enough to offer Colton that he could live next door someday if he would like. Of course, that sounded just fine to him. He enjoys letting Kylie take care of him and doing what she tells him to do. You would think that this would leave the other boys out, but they didn’t mind at all. Myles simply informed everyone that when he got bigger, he would be moving to grandma’s house to live with her. Later, he so sweetly whispered in my ear that he would bring me with him.

And Jack? Well, Jack for a long while has talked about wanting to learn how to build his own house. Last summer, while visiting his grandpa on the farm, Jack had asked him if he could have some bricks that were stacked in his garage. I don’t think grandpa really heard or understood what Jack was asking but Jack walked away from that situation apparently not feeling like he received grandpa’s blessing to take those bricks. At least that was the version of the story Jack told me. It made me laugh at the time though to realize that Jack wanted them to build his house. I guess Jack has heard the story of the Three Little Pigs enough times to figure out that sticks would be the next best thing. 

As the weather warmed up this spring, Jack began randomly collecting sticks into piles in our yard. You can only imagine John’s joy at this every time he mowed the lawn. This went on for awhile as John unknowingly destroyed any of Jack’s progress each week. Eventually, Jack learned to keep his sticks at the edge of our yard under a tree so they remain undisturbed. His little pile didn’t grow very fast but he did work at it little by little. He even managed to get the help of his brothers here and there even though I’m not sure they were very invested in it. They already had their future living situations figured out after all. At least Myles did- he was pretty set in his plans to live with grandma. Colton might be wavering a bit and decide to join Jack in his house. Either way, they were all having fun talking about the house they were building.

Just today, I happened across this little pile of sticks and I laughed when I saw a few leaves from our hostas piled on top. That sight almost brought tears to my eyes because I knew exactly what was going on in that sweet boys head. Still, I had to ask him. Jack informed me that those were his “pastas” so he could build the roof of his house. I couldn’t even muster up an ounce of irritation he had pulled leaves off our plants. I mean, the poor child WOULD need a roof over his head. 

It’s funny how much joy just looking at that little pile of sticks and leaves brings me. I don’t even want to think about where the kids will actually find their next home someday. For now, I’m thankful and completely content that their home is right here with me. I love watching the world through their eyes. I will keep this picture as a great treasure. It represents such a special time in our life that the kids’ greatest desire is to simply be right here…with us…in our own back yard. 

The Magic Makers

I love to look at Kylie and just randomly whisper, “Who runs the world?” Her reaction is immediate and her face full of conviction as she scrunches up her nose, pumps her fist in the air and answers in her best stage whisper, “Girls!” She is seven years old now but we’ve been doing that for years. It probably started as a way to harass John, but it doesn’t get old. Kylie Jane is a force to be reckoned with and she’s always thrived on being a “girly” girl. She loves rainbows and splashes of color (especially pink), glitter and sparkles, all things fancy, and often has her nose stuck in a book about magical and mystical things such as unicorns and fairies. She is my mini me, but untainted by life’s challenges, and I love that about her. Her world is the best place to live, and it is very much alive with magic. 

Her love for fairies has been going strong for almost a year. It probably started last spring. We had planted a fairy garden outside complete with its own fairy house tucked in between flowers and a little pink bench for the fairies to rest. And, because a girl can never have too many fairy gardens, Kylie spent several days creating a few more special gardens at grandma’s house. Kylie is nothing if not clever and so it didn’t take her long to realize that, for some reason, her fairy gardens at grandma’s house seemed to have just a little bit more magic in them. A dime here. A nickel there. This item moved or that changed. All of it was evidence that a fairy had been there and made herself at home. Kylie became obsessed with all things fairies. She would flock to the books at the library about fairies and all their adventures. Then she dabbled in writing her own. When she started first grade last fall, she told me she wanted to learn how to write a book. It only seemed right that for Christmas she received a kit to write and publish her own story.

As we started the new year, January brought us plenty of days where we were stuck inside and so the story writing began. Kylie insisted her book include chapters and so we laid out her plan. And she DID have a plan. She wanted to write a story about a little girl who had a dream to meet a fairy. She at first insisted her book was to fall into the non-fiction category because fairies were, of course, real. I explained to her that both fiction and non-fiction books might include real people or things but if the events didn’t happen, even if in our hearts we WISHED they would happen, the story would remain fiction. She agreed but confidently replied, “I know fairies are real because they leave me coins in my fairy garden.” She was right. They did. But suspiciously or not, only at grandma’s house. My heart smiled in that moment, and we got to work on her story. Kylie worked diligently for days, writing her words and coloring her pictures. As I watched her story unfold and as her imagination became a reality on the pages of her book, I was amazed. I was so proud of her creativity. 

When it came time to fill out her information and submit her story, I paused at the line for an optional dedication. I explained to her that people who write books often dedicate them to special people in their lives or those who inspired them to write. That seemed a little overwhelming of an idea to a seven year old and so, in our 15 words or less, I decided we could sum it up with dedicating her story to “the magic makers of the world.” I knew exactly where she drew her inspiration for her story from, even if she didn’t realize it. I’m biased as her mom, of course, but I was so proud of her work and I thought her story was so very special. I knew magic lived in her head and in her heart and her story made me realize how thankful I am for all the people around her who inspired that. I’m at that point in my life where, as a mother, my greatest source of joy is my child’s happiness. The world, or reality in general, holds its fair share of grief, but I take great comfort in knowing it is also filled with people who are “magic makers.” Some people are better with words than others and I myself needed to use more than 15 words to truly convey how significant her inspiration was. I want to be able to shout it from the rooftops how much I appreciate those people in life who take time for our children- to laugh or smile with them, to teach them, to inspire them… all of it is just a little bit of magic in its own form. I’m thankful for the people who touch the hearts of my children especially, even through small and simple acts of kindness, leaving them joyful and better for it. Those moments can make such a huge impact on a child’s life and help shape just a little piece of who they become and what type of world they live in.   

The truth is, Kylie Jane DOES live in a pretty special world, filled with love and joy and not without magic. I’m just thankful for the people in her life who inspire that and that I get to live in it with her. It’s just icing on the cake that I have a front row seat to her never-ending debate with her father over the fact that it is, of course, run by GIRLS. 

They are FIVE guys!

FIVE. They are each officially a full hand…also known as a handful… I suppose that’s nothing new really but this feels like a BIG milestone. It’s amazing how much they are growing up and how quickly they are changing before my very eyes. 

Myles is one of those little gems of the world. His eyes sparkle with energy and his laughter is one of the best sounds on earth. His latest phrase has become “let’s do this day again!” He tends to find joy easily and for that I am thankful. Christmas time is one of my favorite times of the year but truthfully, as a mother, it can also be one of the most exhausting. This year I tried to keep things simple, to DO less and just enjoy the moments more. Honestly, looking back, one of the moments that stands out in my “favorites” category was an afternoon introducing the kids to the joys of hot chocolate bombs, store bought of course. Each one of them had their very own hot chocolate bomb and as they watched it melt in their mug of warm milk I had never seen such wild excitement as when they realized tiny little marshmallows started floating up to the surface. They screamed as they each counted in anticipation of who would end up with the most. Four might have been the total number for each of them but it didn’t matter, they were all thrilled with the entire experience as they stirred their cocoa up with a peppermint spoon. It was Myles though that turned to me with his eyes shining bright and laughed as he said, “Let’s do this day again, Mommy! This was a funny day!” Those words went straight to my heart and I hope to never forget them. In that moment, I was on top of the world. It didn’t matter that we had been sick half the month and had bailed on most every event outside our house because it’s moments like those that really mattered. 

Jack has a heart of pure gold and so many of the things he says or does often has me holding my hand over my own heart for fear of it bursting right out of my chest. When I say good night and tuck him into bed in the evening, his arms wrap the tightest around my neck as he whispers in my ear, “I’ll never let you go…” I certainly never want him to… He still takes on the role of the responsible one and is often quick to remind his brothers, Kylie, or me for that matter, “uh uh…that’s not how life works…” He consistently has the most stickers on his sticker chart for staying in his bed at night. His eyes are like a window to his soul and it makes it very hard to say no to some of his requests. He is the true motivation behind our entire FIVE GUYS birthday party. All of the boys and Kylie thought the idea of a burger themed birthday party sounded pretty fun, but it was Jack and those sweet little eyes that sealed the deal. It was decided…we MUST have a cake that looks like a giant burger. I barely slept the night before their birthday stupidly worrying about how I would accomplish the task and I proceeded to spend approximately four hours the next morning working on it. But in the end, Kylie and I were able to present the boys with their burger birthday cake and their excitement was worth it. I will forever count myself lucky to experience that joy with Jack as he took his first bite of birthday cake and said, “Mmm…this is really yummy…” and then looked up at his grandma beside him and proudly explained, “my mommy made it…” Thankfully, the other boys were in agreement and even “sweetened” the deal by yelling out, “We’re five guys!” multiple times throughout their big day as requested.

Colton is our little hidden treasure and every now and then shocks me into a state of pure amazement. He is so fun to watch and is so very sweet and clever. He has mastered the art of winking and often, if he catches my eye, will throw the most endearing little wink my way. I can’t help but smile or laugh at how smooth he is! I recently signed the boys up for tumbling and I can only describe their first class as an epic disaster. Their excitement got the best of them and it was a 45 minute downward spiral as they realized they could run their poor tumbling coach ragged. In their defense, triplets are a whole different ballgame… By the end of the class it was determined by their coach that maybe a “listening activity” was in order and she proceeded to school them in the game of Simon Says. All three of the boys lost each round…and quickly… I couldn’t help but feel a bit humiliated as we left the gym that night, hoping to avoid eye contact with any of the other parents who witnessed their defeat. It was Colton who spoke up, in his most innocent voice, and said, “Mom, I winked at my tumbling coach but she didn’t wink back…” I laughed and laughed as I replied, “no… I’m quite sure she didn’t…” but somehow the night didn’t feel as bleak after that. We spent the next few days playing a whole lot of Simon Says and the next time their tumbling coach tried to trick them up with the game, they were ready. They may not have many tumbling skills in their back pockets yet but by the grace of God they can sure play a good game of Simon Says. 

Lately, the boys have all gotten more into coloring and I love how much their personalities shine through in the pages we pull from their coloring books. Colton puts so much effort and attention to detail into his pictures and has quickly mastered the entire idea of coloring within the lines. He is willing to spend the most time on his projects and often doesn’t want to quit until he’s finished. Jack colors with an intensity all his own and loves to put a lot of different colors on his pages as he covers up all the space. Myles always seems like he’s along for the ride, he’s happy to be there but doesn’t seem to stress much about trying to follow any of my prompts to complete a picture. Each of their pictures say so much about themselves and each of them make me SMILE when I look at them because it is so uniquely THEM. 

Kylie continues to focus a ridiculous amount of effort into preparing them for school next fall and I’m happy that they have her to help guide them through that process. Her bond with her brothers is something so special, even if she doesn’t quite know it yet. At our last parent/teacher conference for her the term “mother hen” came up…and I could only giggle because very few people can truly understand what makes Kylie Kylie unless they have witnessed the last five years of her life. I tease her often about playing up the drama of how exhausting it is to be the big sister to three little brothers but I know she is exactly who God made her to be-our special little girl.

Happy Birthday Myles, Jack, and Colton and congrats on another trip around the sun! And, of course, as Kylie likes to remind us, happy anniversary to Kylie becoming a big sister! It’s so hard to believe how much our lives have changed in the past five years but, no matter what, John and I can only feel extremely grateful and so very, very proud of these four children. Five years later, I can confirm it’s still a pretty wild ride but the little moments make it worth it. If I’m being real, sometimes you have to sift through a lot of other stuff and dig deep but thank God those little moments are always there. 

The Rocking Chair

The time has come to update the boys’ bedroom. Actually, that time came a long time ago but I just wasn’t ready to do anything about it yet. Over four years ago, the idea of having to buy three baby cribs for them was a little bit painful but I can laugh now as we definitely got our moneys worth. I know a lot of people transition their child from cribs to toddler beds way earlier, but Kylie scarred us a little bit on that idea. She was just two years old when we foolishly tried to impress upon her that she was a “big girl” in preparation of the boys being born. Her introduction to a toddler bed was a painful one for us and John and I spent hours each night for many days and months trying to convince her it was a good idea to STAY in HER bed. So much sleep was lost… Contrary to our high hopes, her nightly escapades continued well after the boys were born. I remember walking bleary eyed between our room and the boys’ bedroom multiple times a night to give bottles or find pacifiers only to find Kylie standing in the hallway attempting to join the party. I believe she was at least four before the idea of staying in her room at night stuck. And even then, she would dramatically whine that she was the ONLY person in the WHOLE house that had to sleep ALONE in her own room at night. That statement kind of hit me a little bit hard, even knowing she would someday be grateful for that. So anyway, the moral of the story is that, yes, the boys have remained in their cribs even past the age of four. Awhile ago we even bought crib tents to stop their attempts at escaping. Not exactly a “mother of the year” type of set up but it worked wonderfully to zip them in their little tents each night and not worry about them wandering off. The boys have been very good about staying in their cribs for naps and bedtime but they ARE growing and they DO deserve a bit of normalcy in their childhood. And so the search was on for some updated bedroom furniture. I toiled over the decision and how we would fit everything into one room. We only have two available rooms currently and I couldn’t stand the thought of splitting them up, one in one room and two in the other. Once I decided to keep everyone in one room the idea of bunk beds for space saving was quickly ruled out. I could only imagine the amount of broken bones we’d end up with given THAT opportunity. So after measuring everything out a bit, I finally determined we could in fact fit three twin beds in their room. But that’s when it hit me, their rocking chair would be the first thing to go. And oh, did that ever twist my heart into a knot. The idea of moving them into big beds and re-doing their room had seemed so fun. It was kind of a milestone I knew they would be excited about. But the thought of saying goodbye to their rocking chair was a bit heartbreaking. We did the same with Kylie a few years back when we added some “big girl” flair to her room. She wasn’t happy about seeing her rocking chair go but we simply moved it into our own room and told her we could still rock her before bed that way. That seemed to work for her as it created more room for her doll house and toys. It seemed to make the transition less painful, barely noticeable really, and before any of us knew it we were kissing her head goodnight as she lay in her bed after reading a book together. It didn’t seem to hit me because we still had three little boys to rock to sleep. However, now this is the closing of a complete chapter of our lives. With this update to the boys’ bedroom came the end of cribs and rocking chairs for us… the last items we had that tie us to those “baby years.”

Now each day begins at 7:00am sharp with the thundering of feet down the hallway bursting into our bedroom to announce excitedly “the clock turned green!” The excitement over this never dies apparently, even though the clock will turn green in the same fashion every single morning to signal to them that they can stop watching it and just get out of bed to start the day. I’m happy to report the entire transition to their “big boy beds” went amazingly smooth- better than I could have hoped for really. I had been terrified to make the switch, but the boys were very good about following the “rules.” There were minimal attempts of escapes initially and, even more astounding, minimal chatter each night. The boys police each other quite closely and every now and then I can laugh as I hear an angry whisper from one to another to “stop talking.” And, just in case anyone is wondering, they do each have their knife, spoon, and fork and spoon tucked safely into the top drawers of their respective bedside tables.

As with many previous milestones, a large part of me is celebrating with Myles, Jack, and Colton over this “new beginning.” A piece of me though, deep in my heart, will miss that rocking chair and all the moments we spent in it. Those were some of the sweetest moments- times I will forever treasure. Back then, the days were so, so long. Pure exhaustion had set in well before we even started the bedtime routine. Quite honestly, some of my happiest moments of the entire day took place in that rocking chair while I rocked the boys to sleep at night. Those moments were healing deep down to my very soul. There are few greater pleasures on earth than holding a sleeping child snuggled in your arms. The calm and the quiet giving me peace and hope that maybe I could get up and do it all again the next day. As the boys grew, our time in the rocking chair became less peaceful and I spent more time playing referee between little hands and feet poking each other, quieting giggles, and moving heads so, God forbid, no one was breathing on anyone else. But it was still enjoyable. The boys could sing along with me in our songs and tell stories about their day. Those were still the moments I could reflect back on the day and feel so grateful for it. It was in those moments that the challenges of the day seemed to fade into the distant part of my memory and I could instead focus on the joys.

Here’s the tricky thing about motherhood- sometimes looking back is better. With good intentions, people tell you to “live in the moment” or “enjoy every moment.” That’s a ridiculously difficult expectation for anyone. As a mom, so many parts of the day are filled with all sorts of stress, worry and just plain NOISE and those things don’t go away until the moment is gone. Mind over matter doesn’t always win. Sometimes just getting through it is all you can focus on. I think that’s okay and I think we need to stop trying guilt ourselves into thinking ALL of motherhood should be enjoyable. It’s okay to struggle with living in the moment. It’s hard. Sometimes looking back is better. I can look back on our days of having babies to care for and even those can seem brighter now than they were. John and I can celebrate that we “made it” through the baby years. Now we move on to the new and different adventures our children will find as they grow. I know the boys and Kylie will discover all sorts of excitement to be had in the coming years. Each day that passes will bring new challenges and, with those, new memories. Life is ever changing. It’s a little bit ironic to me though, that no matter where life takes us from here, no matter what new adventures are in store, some of my absolute favorite memories as a mom will be from simply sitting in a chair. I will tell you outright that I did not enjoy EVERY moment of those baby years. But the moments spent in that rocking chair, those were some of the very best.

Fantastic Four

To combat the onset of depression, talk of the boys’ birthday begins immediately after Christmas time in our house. We trade in the nightly singing of Christmas songs before bed for the tune of Happy Birthday and the party planning begins. With Kylie’s help, the boys easily decided that a Monster Truck birthday was the way to go this year. For Christmas, they had received a Blaze and the Monster Machines toy and we soon after discovered the show on Nickelodeon. They would squeal with delight, shriek with laughter and bounce all over the couch in their excitement watching it. The month of January brought us our fair share of sickness so we ended up spending more hours than I care to admit piled together on the couch watching tv. The boys became obsessed with it as we counted down the days to their birthday.

And here we are- Myles, Jack and Colton turned four years old today! The boys are in the prime of their lives and I love watching them entertain themselves. It is such a cool thing that the three of them get to grow up together- they create their own adventures and play all day without a care in the world. Like any kids, they have plenty of moments of bickering and whining but they truly do play so well together. I have to give them credit, it’s not easy for a kid to learn how to share literally EVERYTHING they have ALL the time. They still ravage the toy room faster than I can organize it. They “make lines” of toys throughout the house. Everywhere I turn, I will find lines of toys and cars. They sometimes “decorate” and put random toys on counters and shelves, in corners, or anywhere the mood strikes really. My favorite thing is to just sit and listen to them play. They still love their Little People and it’s fun to listen to them “talk” to each other in their games. They are always talking…all three of them. They all still substitute “l” for “r” in their words. I know I will someday miss their requests of “carely me.” I will be devastated when they realize “yes you am” isn’t a valid argument.

Myles is still the same little fun loving ball of energy he’s always been. He still hasn’t forgotten his adventure to the ER last year and the fact that the doctor thought he was such a riot he told him he “made his day.” Since then, I believe Myles has decided it’s his purpose in life to make other people’s day. He loves to laugh and have fun. When he gets excited about something he just starts giving everyone a hug. He is constantly asking, “did I make you happy?” because he doesn’t like seeing mommy sad. If I get upset about something someone did he immediately comes to me, tilts his head and says sweetly and oh so dearly “I luff you, you’re beautibo.” He knows I can’t stay mad and it’s a slam dunk way of making me smile. When he is sick and I put him to bed at night I always tell him I hope he feels better in the morning. He always responds, “okay, I wiw…” That’s the funny thing about Myles, he doesn’t let much get him down. He’s the one that keeps going even when he doesn’t feel good. His take on life is absolutely amazing to me. He is so aware of the behaviors of people around him and he knows how to fit right in. He watches everything Kylie does and takes her cues to figure out what is important in life- for better or for worse. They spend plenty of time fighting over her pink polk-a-dot apron when baking their pretend cookies.

Jack can still melt my heart with most everything he says and does. He is such a sweet cuddlebug. He has always remained pretty aware of the rules and worried about breaking any of them. He absolutely doesn’t like getting into trouble but he can also be pretty stubborn. Food might be one of his love languages. He loves pie and “tookies” and often likes to put in hopeful requests to grandma. He somehow has latched on to the word “actually” and uses it at the beginning of a lot of his statements. He likes to tell stories and ask questions and has such a funny, deliberate way of choosing his words. He amazes me with his observations, his little mind is always working and wondering. He is so smart but he is still most resistant to any of Kylie’s attempts to “play school.” Before going to bed, he likes to talk about where we will meet in our dreams. It’s usually the waterpark and I always promise to bring cupcakes. Before saying goodnight and leaving the room, John and I BOTH must say the magic words “Best day ever! Fun day!” before the boys can rest- Jack is most firm on this rule though. He likes his routine.

Colton is still our little spitfire. He’s absolutely stubborn and can throw a real fit if he wants to- and he often does. He picks a lot of random little fights over goofy things. He’s a little young to understand the story of the “boy who cried wolf” but someday we’re going to have a real come-to-Jesus talk about that. He is a little spark of energy always running around and jumping out “Here I am!” We still spend a fair amount of time trying to convince him to eat. He often leaves meals or snacks unfinished and I try to leave items on the table in hopes he will eat them later. The day usually ends with a variety of snacks at his spot at the table and Colton requesting to “tabe my pood.” He still gives me the sweetest hugs at night and it squeezes my heart when he requests “leep wit me…” He is a curious little guy. He has the longest attention span for sitting and working on puzzles or other games. He continues to be Kylie’s most attentive student. He is perfectly content playing the part of the “youngest child” and I find it quite humorous to watch him “allow” Kylie to take care of him-even when he doesn’t need it.

I’ve never stopped being amazed at how the boys have had obvious differences in their personalities from the moment they were born. It’s been so fun to watch them each grow over the years. One of Kylie’s favorite games has always been a Curious George Memory game and lately we have been working on teaching the boys to play. Their difference in personality shows so perfectly in their approach to the game that it just makes me laugh. Myles keeps his cool, half the time not even looking like he is paying attention or cares about the outcome of the game, and yet somehow can always remember where the right card is. Jack has minimal attention span and quite frankly doesn’t care to play it at all. If he does play he just pulls random cards with no reason. He would much rather play Slap Jack. Colton loves to play games and solve puzzles but he gets so excited doing it that he giggles and bounces around to the point he almost sabotages himself. He is so smart but he might have ended up with a little of my anxiety. His favorite game right now is Spot It-he loves racing to find the difference in pictures before anyone else but he practically hyperventilates while doing it.

Kylie is still firm in her position as “leader of the pack.” She is loving kindergarten but likes to come home and impart her wisdom on the ways of the world. The boys like riding along to take her to school each morning and we all wave and blow kisses as we watch her flounce off with her eyes shining and her backpack bobbing all the way down to the back of her knees as she enters the school. We love hearing her stories each day when she returns home from school, too. Her stories are the best and I laugh at her entire take on life outside of this house. She loves to read. She has so much fun with art and music- although she’s a bit frustrated with the idea of coloring OUTSIDE the lines to be more artistic. She proclaimed herself NOT good at that. She would like to be a writer, artist or a teacher someday. It turns out she can’t stand the sound of kids fidgeting at circle time and repeatedly ripping their Velcro circle off the carpet. She is a bit baffled that it’s so difficult for kids to “line up” and STAY in their lines. She reports on every kid that ends up sitting in the time out chair and what rule they broke. It’s absolutely endearing when she looks at me with round eyes and whispers in a serious, hushed voice that they broke a BIG rule- like touching the board without permission. Kylie comes home each day and still puts a fair amount of effort into schooling her brothers. She lines them up, points out the letters of the alphabet and what sounds they make, or quizzes them on things she reads to them in books. In general, I think she’s very keen on making sure they turn out to be good students so they don’t suffer the same fate as the poor boys in her class who end up in the time out chair for breaking the rules. I can only hope the boys will follow her advice.

I know I am biased, like every mom, but I am so incredibly lucky to call each one of these children mine (okay John’s, too). They push me to the very brink of insanity (I’m a tad suspicious it’s often on purpose) but I am so grateful when I tell them “God gave me you.” They are each amazing in their own way, and that truth is always the most obvious in the quiet of the night when they are all sleeping peacefully and quietly. So tonight we close out another birthday celebration. As we start another year I can only hope it’s going to be fantastic. Watch out world, I’ve got three little boys four years old coming at you. Happy Birthday to Myles, Jack, and Colton!!